Anger and the Tongue
“Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil;” wise and timely words spoken so long ago. Our tongue can either make us or break us. It can tear down or build up; glorify or curse; mock or praise.
In the past you may have been the victim of someone’s sharp, short, careless and hurtful words cutting you to the core. Some words are so hurtful they may ring in your head tormenting you for years to come!
What are some of the situations we have become easily angered? They are the times we feel we’re no longer in control of a situation, when we’re sick in our bodies, when we aren’t exercising our usual self-control, those times when we’re not getting our way or are worried about something that may not even be related to what’s going on at the moment.
We are better equipped to handle our emotions when we’re rested and healthy, and when we are staying close to God. It is a person of great character that can hear our anger and yet feel compassion for our situation and work with us to get a matter resolved rather than adding fuel to the argument of their own.
Oh, you say you’re not given to bursts of anger? Are your words always kind and do they always build others up rather than tear them down? I told myself for years that I didn’t have a temper and that couldn’t have been further from the truth! I was one of those that stuffed it and stuffed it and stuffed it until I blew up!
It’s not good for our health, our emotions or our family life, and it is being dishonest to keep all your thoughts and concerns to yourself seeming to always go along. You have a right to your opinion and your thoughts….even to your anger! Yes that’s right, even to your anger. How you express your anger is the key.
One of the greatest gifts you can give another is not to be easily offended by occasional out bursts but rather “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18) NLT
Ephesians 4:31 tells us to get rid of anger and rage. Do you recognize any of these things in your life; you seem to annoy people, aggravate, exasperate, irritate, offend, blow up, boil-over, flare up, fume, breathe fire, fly into a rage, you’re referred to as hot under the collar, that you hit the ceiling, that you lose your temper, or see red?
If you recognize any of these situations in your own life it’s time to get to the root of the problem. Ask God and He will show you what it is. Perhaps we just need to communicate better with someone in our lives so things don’t have a chance to escalate. Perhaps we are unable to see ourselves as God sees us and therefore are too easily offended or defensive. Perhaps it’s a matter of selfishness or even that you’re no good at balancing your check book or managing your chores at home and want to take out your frustrations on someone besides yourself.
James 4:1-2b says “What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them…..” Most of the time we don’t carry it to the extremes of killing and waging war, but you’d be surprised how anger can destroy your life and your relationships.
“…no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison.” (James 3:8) The Lord wants us to be slow to anger as He is slow to anger. (Exodus 34:6b) (James 1:19b)
Why does the Lord despise anger? Genesis 4:3-8 tells the story of Cain and how he became jealous of his brother Abel because God accepted Abel’s gift of the best first born lambs from his flock but rejected his own gift of crops because they weren’t his best crops.
It made Cain very angry. The Lord reminded him that he would be accepted if he did what was right. Later Cain took his brother to the fields and killed him. He lied to God when He asked where his brother was and God banished him from His presence. We can see from this story that simple anger, mixed when a little jealousy can lead to hatred and murder.
Paul reminds us in Ephesians and Colossians to get rid of rage, anger, harsh words and slander. He goes on to tell us how we’re supposed to act as we forgive each other. The Word tells us that God’s righteous anger is against sin and urges us to use anger in moderation. Psalm 85:2-3 says, “You forgave the guilt of your people—yes, you covered all their sins. You held back your fury. You kept back your blazing anger.” So God can and will set aside His anger at our sins when He forgives us.
Psalm 78:38b-39a shows us that “Many times he held back his anger and did not unleash his fury! For he remembered that they were merely mortal……..”
What are some of the things that cause God’s anger and wrath? Sin and disobedience are at the top of the list. Romans 2:5 mentions stubbornness. Ephesians 5:3-4, 6 also mentions things that cause His anger that we are not to participate in, talk about, or even associate with those who do. These are sexual immorality, impurity, greed, obscene stories, foolish talk, or coarse jokes. These things will only cause death and destruction.
Thank goodness “now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.” Romans 5:11.
What about the things that can cause human anger? We already know anger can lead to hatred and murder so self control is truly the key. Anger is not always wrong but be careful how far you take it. Moses threw down the tablets of stone breaking them. Jesus was human and was angry when his disciples tried to keep the children from bothering Him in Mark 3:5, and of course the incident in the temple where he ran the money-changers out of the house of God.
What are some of the ways we can curb our anger and frustration? Communicating better with one another is a great way to head off trouble ‘at the pass’ so to speak. It’s unfair to put up and put up and put up with someone’s actions and then one day just unload all your pent up anger onto them. Perhaps if we take the time to explain how their actions make us feel early on, and discuss it openly, a compromise can be reached.
I would much rather someone be ‘up front’ with me about how they feel about things rather than always giving in until it builds up resentment and anger. Most people don’t like conflict so we’ll go miles around a problem rather than take the time needed to get it resolved. It’s no wonder relationships get so fragile!
Thank goodness for spouses, children, friends, and family who are forgiving as we try to learn to come to terms with our anger. There is no room in a relationship for being ‘thin skinned’ and insecure if we’re going to be able to give each other the gift of forgiveness and unconditional love.
Unconditional love does not mean letting someone run you down or run over you, it means bearing with one another as we all learn to deal with our anger and our tongues through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
If you’re having a particular problem with anger go to your Father in heaven and ask for guidance but be prepared to deal with ‘the good, the bad, and the ugly’ because when He reveals to you those things you need to work on you may be shocked at what lies deep down inside you! I always am! Shalom, Marvin & Diana
In the past you may have been the victim of someone’s sharp, short, careless and hurtful words cutting you to the core. Some words are so hurtful they may ring in your head tormenting you for years to come!
What are some of the situations we have become easily angered? They are the times we feel we’re no longer in control of a situation, when we’re sick in our bodies, when we aren’t exercising our usual self-control, those times when we’re not getting our way or are worried about something that may not even be related to what’s going on at the moment.
We are better equipped to handle our emotions when we’re rested and healthy, and when we are staying close to God. It is a person of great character that can hear our anger and yet feel compassion for our situation and work with us to get a matter resolved rather than adding fuel to the argument of their own.
Oh, you say you’re not given to bursts of anger? Are your words always kind and do they always build others up rather than tear them down? I told myself for years that I didn’t have a temper and that couldn’t have been further from the truth! I was one of those that stuffed it and stuffed it and stuffed it until I blew up!
It’s not good for our health, our emotions or our family life, and it is being dishonest to keep all your thoughts and concerns to yourself seeming to always go along. You have a right to your opinion and your thoughts….even to your anger! Yes that’s right, even to your anger. How you express your anger is the key.
One of the greatest gifts you can give another is not to be easily offended by occasional out bursts but rather “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18) NLT
Ephesians 4:31 tells us to get rid of anger and rage. Do you recognize any of these things in your life; you seem to annoy people, aggravate, exasperate, irritate, offend, blow up, boil-over, flare up, fume, breathe fire, fly into a rage, you’re referred to as hot under the collar, that you hit the ceiling, that you lose your temper, or see red?
If you recognize any of these situations in your own life it’s time to get to the root of the problem. Ask God and He will show you what it is. Perhaps we just need to communicate better with someone in our lives so things don’t have a chance to escalate. Perhaps we are unable to see ourselves as God sees us and therefore are too easily offended or defensive. Perhaps it’s a matter of selfishness or even that you’re no good at balancing your check book or managing your chores at home and want to take out your frustrations on someone besides yourself.
James 4:1-2b says “What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them…..” Most of the time we don’t carry it to the extremes of killing and waging war, but you’d be surprised how anger can destroy your life and your relationships.
“…no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison.” (James 3:8) The Lord wants us to be slow to anger as He is slow to anger. (Exodus 34:6b) (James 1:19b)
Why does the Lord despise anger? Genesis 4:3-8 tells the story of Cain and how he became jealous of his brother Abel because God accepted Abel’s gift of the best first born lambs from his flock but rejected his own gift of crops because they weren’t his best crops.
It made Cain very angry. The Lord reminded him that he would be accepted if he did what was right. Later Cain took his brother to the fields and killed him. He lied to God when He asked where his brother was and God banished him from His presence. We can see from this story that simple anger, mixed when a little jealousy can lead to hatred and murder.
Paul reminds us in Ephesians and Colossians to get rid of rage, anger, harsh words and slander. He goes on to tell us how we’re supposed to act as we forgive each other. The Word tells us that God’s righteous anger is against sin and urges us to use anger in moderation. Psalm 85:2-3 says, “You forgave the guilt of your people—yes, you covered all their sins. You held back your fury. You kept back your blazing anger.” So God can and will set aside His anger at our sins when He forgives us.
Psalm 78:38b-39a shows us that “Many times he held back his anger and did not unleash his fury! For he remembered that they were merely mortal……..”
What are some of the things that cause God’s anger and wrath? Sin and disobedience are at the top of the list. Romans 2:5 mentions stubbornness. Ephesians 5:3-4, 6 also mentions things that cause His anger that we are not to participate in, talk about, or even associate with those who do. These are sexual immorality, impurity, greed, obscene stories, foolish talk, or coarse jokes. These things will only cause death and destruction.
Thank goodness “now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.” Romans 5:11.
What about the things that can cause human anger? We already know anger can lead to hatred and murder so self control is truly the key. Anger is not always wrong but be careful how far you take it. Moses threw down the tablets of stone breaking them. Jesus was human and was angry when his disciples tried to keep the children from bothering Him in Mark 3:5, and of course the incident in the temple where he ran the money-changers out of the house of God.
What are some of the ways we can curb our anger and frustration? Communicating better with one another is a great way to head off trouble ‘at the pass’ so to speak. It’s unfair to put up and put up and put up with someone’s actions and then one day just unload all your pent up anger onto them. Perhaps if we take the time to explain how their actions make us feel early on, and discuss it openly, a compromise can be reached.
I would much rather someone be ‘up front’ with me about how they feel about things rather than always giving in until it builds up resentment and anger. Most people don’t like conflict so we’ll go miles around a problem rather than take the time needed to get it resolved. It’s no wonder relationships get so fragile!
Thank goodness for spouses, children, friends, and family who are forgiving as we try to learn to come to terms with our anger. There is no room in a relationship for being ‘thin skinned’ and insecure if we’re going to be able to give each other the gift of forgiveness and unconditional love.
Unconditional love does not mean letting someone run you down or run over you, it means bearing with one another as we all learn to deal with our anger and our tongues through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
If you’re having a particular problem with anger go to your Father in heaven and ask for guidance but be prepared to deal with ‘the good, the bad, and the ugly’ because when He reveals to you those things you need to work on you may be shocked at what lies deep down inside you! I always am! Shalom, Marvin & Diana
Thanks to MSClipArt for use of the Graphic.
posted by Gentle Dove Ministries International at 7:28 PM
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